Dear Conservative Party

By Martin | Comments (67) | Trackbacks (0)

I haven’t voted before, and I’m not sure who to vote for. I’m a bit left wing on some issues, and a bit right on others, and I’m not a proper fan of any of the teams, so apparently I’m a swing voter, which apparently means that all the parties want me to vote for them, which sounds really cool.

Anyway, I live in Windsor and Eton, where I have the choice of your person, the shadow science minister Adam Afriyie, this Labour guy who was apparently the inspiration for the character of Darcy in Bridget Jones, and a Lib Dem candidate who I don’t know much about because when I typed his name plus ‘Windsor’ into Google, he wasn’t the top result.

They all sound kind of okay, so I was hoping to learn a bit about what they want to do if they win the election. This evening I turned on my TV and saw an advert by your party, and I thought it would be a really good way of finding out what you wanted to do, so I could make up my mind who to vote for, like in a real democracy.

But something seems to be a bit wrong with your adverts, because the one I saw tonight looked like this:

Maybe I’m just being really stupid, but I can’t seem to find any of your policies in it. Instead, it all seems to be about how terrible things would be if I voted for the other parties. The thing is, I already know about their policies, and about what would happen in a hung parliament, because I read all about it on Wikipedia. (To be honest it seems a bit less scary then what you said.)

The thing is, I was really hoping you might tell me why I should vote Conservative, instead of telling me all about stuff about the other parties that I already know about. It doesn’t seem to be a very good advert for your party, if I don’t know anything about your party after I’ve seen it. I mean it tells me that you don’t like Mr. Brown, or Herr Clegg, but then I sort of figured that out already, because I reckon that if you liked them, you probably wouldn’t be spending twenty squillion pounds trying to get your people elected instead of their’s.

There also doesn’t seem to be anything in the papers, which are all full of this Nick Clegg person, who the Daily Mail says is this mixed race person who sounds a bit like Obama. He seems okay actually. But maybe you should have a word with some of the editors of the papers, if that’s allowed during an election, and ask them if they could cover some of your policies instead of always going on about this Nick Clegg person? It seems really unfair, and I think David Cameron should be a bit cross with them for not saying more about what he wants to do.

Anyway, apparently I’m allowed to stay up and watch Newsnight tonight. Maybe they’ll have some of your policies on there?

Yours sincerely,
Martin Robbins, Aged 28 and 2/4s.

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Hear Hear!
One of the worst Party Ads I’ve ever seen… utterly pointless.

Comment by Ricardohere on April 27, 2010 @ 11:11 pm

Excellent post!

I too have been scouring the net for policies but officially gave up after the manifesto launch. I asked Twitter for their take. They thought the following which I tried to capture here http://www.stuckon194.com/archives/511

Hope you enjoy

Paul

Comment by rpcompaneros on April 28, 2010 @ 8:19 am

Yes, why are the Tories so frightened of the people voting for their choice of candidate, we need Electoral reform, we need a mature democracy!

Comment by Kim on April 28, 2010 @ 12:58 pm

New blog post: Dear Conservative Party http://bit.ly/cAcSJE